I haven't written anything since March, I lost my purpose, my zest for writing, for travelling, for healthy living, I should have known all I needed to do was come back to Beth's Essay's, courses, inspirational words. Thank you Beth :-)
2017 - I was living and working in Saudi Arabia, travelled to Thailand, Philipines, Morroco, IAbu Dhabi, Dubai, Ibiza - got engaged, was writing a blog, studying for a creative writing degree, my father died.
2033 - I will be living and working in Spain, will have travelled to Bali, Mauritius, Iceland, Scotland, Germany, Mykonos, Virgin Islands to name but a few. Will have completed my degree (I stopped it), Published my 5th book, got married, be a grandmother, be fit and healthy.
8 years ago my photos show my two kids larking about in the bluebell woods, aged 12 and 9. I look back on it as the golden age - they were both fairly care free, my parents were both alive, my husband was about to step back from a very stressful and time consuming job to do something completely different, and I was about a year into a job I was relishing. Our work life balance was finally about to get better. I remember that as I went to bed every evening I would think, all is as it should be, all is well.
In the last five years, every single member of my family has faced a crisis. My eldest, now nearly 21, had a big issue to deal with that will be part of him his whole life and after a few shaky years is now thriving. My very fit husband went in for a heart scan due to chest pains and they weren’t sure how he was still alive. He was saved by amazing care at hospital in the middle of a Covid lockdown.
Both my parents have passed away, not unexpected given their age, but I still miss their gentle and loving presence. My Dad’s death was sudden, but my Mum had a slow and, without my Dad, a sad decline. I could say so much more about them - they were my role models for a life well lived, always looking after friends and family.
The hardest to deal with has been my youngest, who has been ill for two and a half years with ME. It has been so severe that he could hardly get out of bed for months, he has been living with light and sound sensitivity for over a year and mainly been in his room with the curtains closed, and he hasn’t left the house for over 18 months. He is slowly improving now, and it is such a relief just to be able to have a conversation again with him.
The constants have been my husband, walking along side me through it all, my work which brings me comfort that I am doing something worthwhile, and my friends.
I have learnt patience, which was not my strong point. That you can’t fix everything, even when you try your best. That some things are out of your control and you just have to carry on as best you can. That you have to take comfort from the small pleasures of life - meeting with a friend, having a meal out, a cup of tea in the sunshine.
My son never complains and is very philosophical, saying that some people just get ill. I haven’t yet learnt to accept it. I rail against ME, it is so cruel and misunderstood, and my heart breaks for the time he has lost.
I hope in 8 years time that he will be better. That’s all I hope for - his recovery and that a cure can be found to stop others from suffering.
Such a wonderful read, and I'm only just catching up on the response. I had to look back in my phone calendar to find out what I was doing eight years ago. I had just closed down my massage and beauty therapy business, with a huge sigh of relief. I was still visiting two elderly clients, Margaret and Eric, to do their nails. Both in their eighties, she was as sharp as a tack but had major mobility problems, he was as fit as a fiddle, but had a couple of dementia diagnoses. They were a joy to help, and now both sadly departed. I was wanting to move house, as my neighbour was in dispute with me over a chimney, but was stuck with the dispute in full swing. And I was just about to end a three year relationship. So, it really was a bit stressful back then, a time of endings, I suppose. Just over a year later my mum passed away. I had to sort her estate, sell her house, as well as sell a house in France. I also managed to sell my house that following year too and move and I started focussing on writing and studying again, bringing some creativity back to my life. I'm once again wanting to move house, (it's just me), but nowadays I have fully accepted that it's unlikely I'lll work for someone else again, having been self-employed in different guises over the years. So, just living my life now, writing poetry, throwing pots, making jewellery still every now and again. I hope in eight years' time to still be doing this. It would be lovely to have my own studio for the pot throwing, perhaps a monthly maker's market to sell my wares. I'd like to be travelling more, foot loose and fancy free, with very few responsibilities. Other than that, I'm not one for goal-setting or any of that shenanigans, I like the calm place I've reached and hope that's still the case in eight years' time.
2017. Sitting in remembrance of this time and seeing what I was in the middle of navigating gives me pause to be very grateful for that version of me. I was in talks with my boys father as he was wanting back in. He had been absent since 2014 buried deep in his addiction with alcohol. We were navigating the court and what this new space looked like. What will the impact be on the boys? It was heavy, hard and I was doing my best to shield the boys from the worst of it all.
2033. Will be a brilliant year, as all years seem to be more brilliant than the last. I’ll be more me, living each day with the intention of play and creativity. There will be a freedom to live as I feel called to vs what the outside world deems the “right way”.
The number 8 again - this number is in my date of birth 3 times, it's a number I see over and over evey day and so I had to reply - infinity♾️! Beautiful sharing post, thank you.
8 years ago I was nearly 5 months pregnant with my daughter. My second pregnancy and finally I felt safe it was really happening after a missed miscarriage previously. My belly was growing, I was nervous, excited and planning a whole new future with my baby girl whose name I already knew, Grace. She turns 8 in August 🥰
It was the biggest shift of my life, becoming a mum. Having someone else to consider in all decisions, the freedom of non attachment gone - and happily so! How was I going to cope being responsible for another life, could I nourish her physically and emotionally and meet all her needs? Could I give up my freedoms to do so? Would I be happy in the new way of living.
The answer thankfully was yes I could do all these things with absolutely no regrets 🥰 She is thriving. I have taken well to being a mum, ensuring I'm there for her and that she wants for nothing, I think I'm quite good at it - most of the time!
8 years from now all I want is to still be alive and by her side and for the cancer to still be sleeping, nothing else matters ❤️🙏
8 years ago we moved back into the house we had moved into two years earlier after moving out again to completely remodel it. I was exhausted, I was still feeling like I was living someone else's life after moving to suburbia in the south east of England from my soul home in rural West Wales. I was not working, having a sold a business, my health wasn't good, and I felt that I had no identity.
The lowest point was lying in bed unable to find the will or the energy to move. I had got up, gone through the motions of life, got the kids to school and could do no more. I don't know what motivated me to do it, but I pulled the leaflet out of a packet of tablets I was taking for digestive problems. Half way down the list of side effects, depression was listed. I flushed the rest of the pills down the loo. Within a week of stopping the drug, the black cloud lifted.
I started researching how to support my health without recourse to drugs, that for me at any rate, created a whole new set of problems. This set me on path that led me to a new career, training as a nutritional therapist. Starting out on a masters degree in my late forties was more of a challenge than I anticipated. But I persevered, and I am now a fully qualified practitioner.
If I'm honest, lockdown gave me the space I needed to study. Being a student, I had contact with other adults outside the home. For me, this was a sanity savour. However, I lost my father during the third lockdown, not to Covid but a heart condition that had not been diagnosed in time. I am struggling with my mum's declining memory.
Whilst suburbia will never truly feel like home, I have found a way of living here. My children have had more opportunities here. Both have discovered a talent for track athletics. As I spend a lot of time at athletics tracks, I have qualified as an athletics field judge, and have met a whole new tribe of volunteers. We have a laugh, a whinge about facilities, and a lot of fun.
The war in Ukraine has had a massive impact on my family. I've supported my husband, who is from eastern Ukraine, navigate a new reality where he considers himself Ukrainian rather than Russian. We have fund raised, supported refugees, helped women who have left everything behind except their pets get their animals to safety too. I discovered a whole network of selfless people: Daniel, who fund raised to rent apartments in Poland so very young women travelling alone would have somewhere to stay and figure out their next move without being prey to traffickers. A network of women who formed patrols at border crossing points to make sure that lone women had safe transport. Demelza and Len, who drove back and forth, taking the tunnel train over and over again, to bring refugees with pets, who could not take ferries as foot passengers. Lana, who mobilised the Ukrainian athletics federation to get its young members to safe places in Europe.
War is still a backgound to our lives. Who knows when that will end.
I've rediscovered writing and painting, both of which I had neglected because of lack of time, and too much self-judgement. I've come to realise that 'good' and 'bad' are highly subjective. Enjoyment and fulfilment are my measure of success now. A large part of that is thanks to your beautiful approach to writing, Beth, and the community I have met through your courses.
I lost my soul companion dog in 2015. I now have Tilly and Freya aka Flimp and Bimble. They can never replace Mickey, but they are my little shadows, and they keep me smiling. Right now, Tilly is pretty much sat on my right arm as I type, and is trying to shove the laptop over.
When I reviewed the past year, I felt that is was a very 'meh' kind of a year. Looking back over how much I have evolved over the past 8 years has been an interesting exercise.
In 2017, I was living in San Diego and doing my internship for chaplaincy. My son was 3 and his hair was bright blonde from the constant sunlight and being outside. I was going through a spiritual revelation that led to be quitting drinking in 2018 (7 years sober next week!)
In 2033, I hope I have found a way to spend even more time with trees and travel and words. I hope my son and I have an incredible relationship and he is doing well as he finishes up high school. I hope the world feels less dire and mean and racist. I hope 52 will feel like I’m just beginning the best parts of life. ❤️❤️
Eight years ago I was in a foreign country for work, haunted by a relationship that I had found the courage to walk away from (someone I loved deeply but didn’t love me the way that I needed). I was in a work environment where I felt alone and unsupported, working for someone who reminded me of my father (lots to process there).
I had to work to find joy and bring joy, and to cherish the connections I made. Those people made the 4 month experience memorable.
Eight years ago was the beginning of me understanding I must make some changes.
I left my husband and had sweet townhome in a lovely area near downtown.
It was close to work and walking distance to downtown restaurants and the walking path around the lake.
It was a much needed freedom and a path I should’ve stayed on.
Later that year, as it was time to renew my lease, I was spooked by a bad hurricane and returned to my husband and his home instead of renewing my lease on the wonderful place of my own.
My friends thought I was crazy but had to give it another try.
I started focusing on my creativity again. Including Where Women Create magazine which is where I discovered Beth Kempton. Through this discovery I was led to Kelly Rae Roberts. And a year later, very organically, to their Hello Soul Retreat at the most delightful space in CA.
That retreat changed my life forever in so many beautiful, positive, soul filling ways!
Eight years from now I hope the mindful, grateful life I now lead continues to make it easier to be fully present in the moment, free from worry and fear, feeling content, complete, and loved whole-heartedly.
Around this time in 2017, I had just said goodbye to my Prius, closets of clothing, my studio overlooking the Hollywood sign along with a 6-figure job opportunity.
The plan? To build a tiny house on wheels out of reclaimed materials in attempts to reclaim life!
Well here I am, inside my handbuilt home reflecting on the possibilities of what may come to be 8 years from now. I hope to be inside my humble abode with my 1st published book in hand, looking outside the window waiting for the wildflowers yet to bloom as I ponder, rediscover and continue to build upon more dreams. 💕
8 years ago, I had just moved to Ireland with a broken heart. I probably wanted to run away from my problems and hoped that new landscapes would take away the sadness. Working at a call centre and living in a noisy flat share, I had a feeling that I had tumbled down into an abyss instead and wasn't sure how to get out again.
And yet… Often when I feel lost, there is simply something new taking shape. Little crumbs and signs that lead me to the places where I belong, where I remember what it means to feel alive again, where new dreams are created or old ones reawakened, where I catch glimpses of the freedom I crave so deeply. In the years since, so much has happened. I became a yoga teacher, changed jobs multiple times, moved to Portugal, then back to Germany, got diagnosed with a chronic illness and I am currently training as a forest bathing guide. Some things have changed, others haven't. My values are still the same, even though they have probably become even clearer. I am still writing through all the different life phases and seasons. I long for a slow life, and I feel I am getting closer to my core every year.
Having learned how to people-please and deny my own voice, I am now in the process of unlearning it. Shedding the layers that were never meant to be mine. Perfectionism doesn’t work well with a chronic illness, or probably for anybody. It is a process, but more and more I am embracing to take care of myself, to not rush as I will stumble after, but rather to pay attention to the little details, all the moments we might otherwise miss. The portals of wonder that have become so dear to me, glimmers on cloudy days. Beautiful communities like SoulCircle have supported me in embracing the creative, mindful life and realize the beauty of connected solitude. I have found like minded souls in all corners of the world.
I am still a nomad at heart. I might not have found my one place, nevertheless I keep finding belonging within me and the nature around me. Maybe it is not about arriving after all, but about the journey. To not miss so much in the chase of “more”. To trust that paths will unfold, as long as we keep following the things we love and that bring us joy. To navigate the waves of grief and allow space for being. For me, that means letting myself be guided by my inner wild. The calling that feels true and rich, even if it might be far away from the traditional route and conventional milestones. Here I am, 8 years later, far from polished, yet more myself than ever.
Eight years, that feel likes a lifetime ago. I had recently returned to the UK from teaching English in Central Asia. I was trying to get a full-time job in academia on a contract that would last longer than 3 months, without much success. I was enjoying living in Scotland. However, I was reeling from a recent break-up. I was struggling to build a social network in a place where I knew nobody. I wasn't sure what the future held. That part hasn't changed :)
But in the 8 years since, I learnt much better how to navigate a hierarchical organisation that is goverened by many unwritten rules that no one tells you about. I have found my feet in my work, and am now helping others do the same through my coaching business. I now live on my own, and enjoy having that sanctuary.
Eight years from now I hope I will have more inner peace, and that I'll be aligned even closer to what I feel my life purpose is.
Thank you for asking the question, Beth. It helped me see the massive change that can happen within 8 years!
Eight years ago I was working up to 60 hours a week running my own freelance design business and working full-time for someone else. I did this for 4 years. I paid off all our debt so we could begin again. But I was empty. I was using all my creativity for other’s dreams. My book left in the dust along with my art supplies. Everyone else owned my time.
Three years ago I lost that job and began taking long walks and drawing nature. I’ve created a new career as an illustrator and artist. Trying to carve out more time to finish one of my book ideas too. I want to spend the rest of my life putting meaningful things into the world. ✨
They say “what a difference a year makes.” And if that’s the case, can you imagine what eight could do?
Eight years ago I still worked in a corporate organisation and was facing the fourth, of what would end up being five restructures in my time there, and yet another redundant role. But the fourth time was different. Very different to the unexpectedly, cruelly, ripped off plaster of security of the first time. By the fourth I was teetering on the edge of “is this now my time?.”
Surviving another painful, anxious, round of interviews and selection centres I secured a new role in yet another new structure. On paper my dream job, in reality the thing that finally woke me, shook me up. A year or so into that role I remember sitting on the steps of a tall London town house not far from the office, in tears, again, and a good friend saying “Gillian, you are more than this job.” It was the best thing anyone ever said to me.
I hadn’t realised it until now, but my life has been a delicious rollercoaster of life’s bittersweet ups and downs, twists and turns, since then… hop on in and join me for the ride…
By the time the next, fifth and final, restructure was about to tsunami over the horizon, at the craziest point, according to some, late into 2020 the year of the pandemic, I had already made my decision. I chose what would happen for me next, no-one else. The time came when “the risk it took to remain tight inside the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom” - Anais Nin. In 2021 I left the illusion of security of a corporate organisation after 26 years, and became (such an important delicious word, became…) the founder of the Stars Are Aligned Coaching. I have no idea where the courage came from. But I did it and I’m still doing it and so much more.
In 2022 I married my soulmate after 26 years together at that point. Later that year, peri-menopause gripped me and turned me upside down, inside out. In 2023 I turned 50, spent it in hospital with my dad, and less than a week later my heart splintered as he passed away with vascular dementia and becoming a carer for my mum began. Roles reversed. Reversed roles.
In 2024 I spent my 51st birthday supporting Louise, my wife, as we sat by her mum’s bedside, and had the privilege and peace of being with her as she passed just under a year since I’d sat in another room in another hospital in another lifetime with my dad. The month after I started River of Words which led to the writer I’d yet to meet stepping forward and raising her pen - I am a writer! And I set sail the sensitive coaches pHiloSoPhy here on Substack. Later that year I became a (pinch me!) published poet with four of my poems being printed in ‘Poetry for Coaching: Transformation Through Verse’. None of these things I'd imagined for myself.
And now we’re in 2025, The Stars Are Aligned Coaching celebrates its 4th birthday this month and hopefully my 52nd Birthday will have more of the joy than sorrow that life serves us up. At the moment that looks promising... Ink & Flame has sparked the vision of where I take the sensitive coaches pHiloSoPhy and The Stars Are Aligned Coaching next. I best buckle up for the ride!
Thank you @Beth Kempton. When I read Kokoro I learnt I lost my dad and you your mum at the same time, the same month, my thoughts are with you too... And thank you for Kokoro and so much more, so much, you’ve brought me without realising it 🙏🏼 G:)x
This is lovely, thank you. Eight years ago I embarked on a professional adventure I always thought I wanted, only to realize it was a trap. And the subsequent escapes have held their own mini traps. I sit here today wondering how I can start over, how I can find my freedom.
8 years ago - my initial reaction was nothing special, but when I thought harder I realised that it was the beginning of my 'neurodivergent' journey. My eldest had just been diagnosed as autistic and I had a new baby too - it felt like a very dark place as I did not understand autism and what that would mean for our family. Moving forward to today - I am now in place where I celebrate my neurodivergent family - my understanding and feeling have moved on so much and I am in a place of much more light and happiness. In 8 years time, I hope to be in a positive and happy place and see how much my neurodivergent family is thriving.
I haven't written anything since March, I lost my purpose, my zest for writing, for travelling, for healthy living, I should have known all I needed to do was come back to Beth's Essay's, courses, inspirational words. Thank you Beth :-)
2017 - I was living and working in Saudi Arabia, travelled to Thailand, Philipines, Morroco, IAbu Dhabi, Dubai, Ibiza - got engaged, was writing a blog, studying for a creative writing degree, my father died.
2033 - I will be living and working in Spain, will have travelled to Bali, Mauritius, Iceland, Scotland, Germany, Mykonos, Virgin Islands to name but a few. Will have completed my degree (I stopped it), Published my 5th book, got married, be a grandmother, be fit and healthy.
8 years ago my photos show my two kids larking about in the bluebell woods, aged 12 and 9. I look back on it as the golden age - they were both fairly care free, my parents were both alive, my husband was about to step back from a very stressful and time consuming job to do something completely different, and I was about a year into a job I was relishing. Our work life balance was finally about to get better. I remember that as I went to bed every evening I would think, all is as it should be, all is well.
In the last five years, every single member of my family has faced a crisis. My eldest, now nearly 21, had a big issue to deal with that will be part of him his whole life and after a few shaky years is now thriving. My very fit husband went in for a heart scan due to chest pains and they weren’t sure how he was still alive. He was saved by amazing care at hospital in the middle of a Covid lockdown.
Both my parents have passed away, not unexpected given their age, but I still miss their gentle and loving presence. My Dad’s death was sudden, but my Mum had a slow and, without my Dad, a sad decline. I could say so much more about them - they were my role models for a life well lived, always looking after friends and family.
The hardest to deal with has been my youngest, who has been ill for two and a half years with ME. It has been so severe that he could hardly get out of bed for months, he has been living with light and sound sensitivity for over a year and mainly been in his room with the curtains closed, and he hasn’t left the house for over 18 months. He is slowly improving now, and it is such a relief just to be able to have a conversation again with him.
The constants have been my husband, walking along side me through it all, my work which brings me comfort that I am doing something worthwhile, and my friends.
I have learnt patience, which was not my strong point. That you can’t fix everything, even when you try your best. That some things are out of your control and you just have to carry on as best you can. That you have to take comfort from the small pleasures of life - meeting with a friend, having a meal out, a cup of tea in the sunshine.
My son never complains and is very philosophical, saying that some people just get ill. I haven’t yet learnt to accept it. I rail against ME, it is so cruel and misunderstood, and my heart breaks for the time he has lost.
I hope in 8 years time that he will be better. That’s all I hope for - his recovery and that a cure can be found to stop others from suffering.
Such a wonderful read, and I'm only just catching up on the response. I had to look back in my phone calendar to find out what I was doing eight years ago. I had just closed down my massage and beauty therapy business, with a huge sigh of relief. I was still visiting two elderly clients, Margaret and Eric, to do their nails. Both in their eighties, she was as sharp as a tack but had major mobility problems, he was as fit as a fiddle, but had a couple of dementia diagnoses. They were a joy to help, and now both sadly departed. I was wanting to move house, as my neighbour was in dispute with me over a chimney, but was stuck with the dispute in full swing. And I was just about to end a three year relationship. So, it really was a bit stressful back then, a time of endings, I suppose. Just over a year later my mum passed away. I had to sort her estate, sell her house, as well as sell a house in France. I also managed to sell my house that following year too and move and I started focussing on writing and studying again, bringing some creativity back to my life. I'm once again wanting to move house, (it's just me), but nowadays I have fully accepted that it's unlikely I'lll work for someone else again, having been self-employed in different guises over the years. So, just living my life now, writing poetry, throwing pots, making jewellery still every now and again. I hope in eight years' time to still be doing this. It would be lovely to have my own studio for the pot throwing, perhaps a monthly maker's market to sell my wares. I'd like to be travelling more, foot loose and fancy free, with very few responsibilities. Other than that, I'm not one for goal-setting or any of that shenanigans, I like the calm place I've reached and hope that's still the case in eight years' time.
2017. Sitting in remembrance of this time and seeing what I was in the middle of navigating gives me pause to be very grateful for that version of me. I was in talks with my boys father as he was wanting back in. He had been absent since 2014 buried deep in his addiction with alcohol. We were navigating the court and what this new space looked like. What will the impact be on the boys? It was heavy, hard and I was doing my best to shield the boys from the worst of it all.
2033. Will be a brilliant year, as all years seem to be more brilliant than the last. I’ll be more me, living each day with the intention of play and creativity. There will be a freedom to live as I feel called to vs what the outside world deems the “right way”.
The number 8 again - this number is in my date of birth 3 times, it's a number I see over and over evey day and so I had to reply - infinity♾️! Beautiful sharing post, thank you.
8 years ago I was nearly 5 months pregnant with my daughter. My second pregnancy and finally I felt safe it was really happening after a missed miscarriage previously. My belly was growing, I was nervous, excited and planning a whole new future with my baby girl whose name I already knew, Grace. She turns 8 in August 🥰
It was the biggest shift of my life, becoming a mum. Having someone else to consider in all decisions, the freedom of non attachment gone - and happily so! How was I going to cope being responsible for another life, could I nourish her physically and emotionally and meet all her needs? Could I give up my freedoms to do so? Would I be happy in the new way of living.
The answer thankfully was yes I could do all these things with absolutely no regrets 🥰 She is thriving. I have taken well to being a mum, ensuring I'm there for her and that she wants for nothing, I think I'm quite good at it - most of the time!
8 years from now all I want is to still be alive and by her side and for the cancer to still be sleeping, nothing else matters ❤️🙏
8 years ago we moved back into the house we had moved into two years earlier after moving out again to completely remodel it. I was exhausted, I was still feeling like I was living someone else's life after moving to suburbia in the south east of England from my soul home in rural West Wales. I was not working, having a sold a business, my health wasn't good, and I felt that I had no identity.
The lowest point was lying in bed unable to find the will or the energy to move. I had got up, gone through the motions of life, got the kids to school and could do no more. I don't know what motivated me to do it, but I pulled the leaflet out of a packet of tablets I was taking for digestive problems. Half way down the list of side effects, depression was listed. I flushed the rest of the pills down the loo. Within a week of stopping the drug, the black cloud lifted.
I started researching how to support my health without recourse to drugs, that for me at any rate, created a whole new set of problems. This set me on path that led me to a new career, training as a nutritional therapist. Starting out on a masters degree in my late forties was more of a challenge than I anticipated. But I persevered, and I am now a fully qualified practitioner.
If I'm honest, lockdown gave me the space I needed to study. Being a student, I had contact with other adults outside the home. For me, this was a sanity savour. However, I lost my father during the third lockdown, not to Covid but a heart condition that had not been diagnosed in time. I am struggling with my mum's declining memory.
Whilst suburbia will never truly feel like home, I have found a way of living here. My children have had more opportunities here. Both have discovered a talent for track athletics. As I spend a lot of time at athletics tracks, I have qualified as an athletics field judge, and have met a whole new tribe of volunteers. We have a laugh, a whinge about facilities, and a lot of fun.
The war in Ukraine has had a massive impact on my family. I've supported my husband, who is from eastern Ukraine, navigate a new reality where he considers himself Ukrainian rather than Russian. We have fund raised, supported refugees, helped women who have left everything behind except their pets get their animals to safety too. I discovered a whole network of selfless people: Daniel, who fund raised to rent apartments in Poland so very young women travelling alone would have somewhere to stay and figure out their next move without being prey to traffickers. A network of women who formed patrols at border crossing points to make sure that lone women had safe transport. Demelza and Len, who drove back and forth, taking the tunnel train over and over again, to bring refugees with pets, who could not take ferries as foot passengers. Lana, who mobilised the Ukrainian athletics federation to get its young members to safe places in Europe.
War is still a backgound to our lives. Who knows when that will end.
I've rediscovered writing and painting, both of which I had neglected because of lack of time, and too much self-judgement. I've come to realise that 'good' and 'bad' are highly subjective. Enjoyment and fulfilment are my measure of success now. A large part of that is thanks to your beautiful approach to writing, Beth, and the community I have met through your courses.
I lost my soul companion dog in 2015. I now have Tilly and Freya aka Flimp and Bimble. They can never replace Mickey, but they are my little shadows, and they keep me smiling. Right now, Tilly is pretty much sat on my right arm as I type, and is trying to shove the laptop over.
When I reviewed the past year, I felt that is was a very 'meh' kind of a year. Looking back over how much I have evolved over the past 8 years has been an interesting exercise.
In 2017, I was living in San Diego and doing my internship for chaplaincy. My son was 3 and his hair was bright blonde from the constant sunlight and being outside. I was going through a spiritual revelation that led to be quitting drinking in 2018 (7 years sober next week!)
In 2033, I hope I have found a way to spend even more time with trees and travel and words. I hope my son and I have an incredible relationship and he is doing well as he finishes up high school. I hope the world feels less dire and mean and racist. I hope 52 will feel like I’m just beginning the best parts of life. ❤️❤️
Eight years ago I was in a foreign country for work, haunted by a relationship that I had found the courage to walk away from (someone I loved deeply but didn’t love me the way that I needed). I was in a work environment where I felt alone and unsupported, working for someone who reminded me of my father (lots to process there).
I had to work to find joy and bring joy, and to cherish the connections I made. Those people made the 4 month experience memorable.
Eight years ago was the beginning of me understanding I must make some changes.
I left my husband and had sweet townhome in a lovely area near downtown.
It was close to work and walking distance to downtown restaurants and the walking path around the lake.
It was a much needed freedom and a path I should’ve stayed on.
Later that year, as it was time to renew my lease, I was spooked by a bad hurricane and returned to my husband and his home instead of renewing my lease on the wonderful place of my own.
My friends thought I was crazy but had to give it another try.
I started focusing on my creativity again. Including Where Women Create magazine which is where I discovered Beth Kempton. Through this discovery I was led to Kelly Rae Roberts. And a year later, very organically, to their Hello Soul Retreat at the most delightful space in CA.
That retreat changed my life forever in so many beautiful, positive, soul filling ways!
Eight years from now I hope the mindful, grateful life I now lead continues to make it easier to be fully present in the moment, free from worry and fear, feeling content, complete, and loved whole-heartedly.
💖
Around this time in 2017, I had just said goodbye to my Prius, closets of clothing, my studio overlooking the Hollywood sign along with a 6-figure job opportunity.
The plan? To build a tiny house on wheels out of reclaimed materials in attempts to reclaim life!
Well here I am, inside my handbuilt home reflecting on the possibilities of what may come to be 8 years from now. I hope to be inside my humble abode with my 1st published book in hand, looking outside the window waiting for the wildflowers yet to bloom as I ponder, rediscover and continue to build upon more dreams. 💕
8 years ago, I had just moved to Ireland with a broken heart. I probably wanted to run away from my problems and hoped that new landscapes would take away the sadness. Working at a call centre and living in a noisy flat share, I had a feeling that I had tumbled down into an abyss instead and wasn't sure how to get out again.
And yet… Often when I feel lost, there is simply something new taking shape. Little crumbs and signs that lead me to the places where I belong, where I remember what it means to feel alive again, where new dreams are created or old ones reawakened, where I catch glimpses of the freedom I crave so deeply. In the years since, so much has happened. I became a yoga teacher, changed jobs multiple times, moved to Portugal, then back to Germany, got diagnosed with a chronic illness and I am currently training as a forest bathing guide. Some things have changed, others haven't. My values are still the same, even though they have probably become even clearer. I am still writing through all the different life phases and seasons. I long for a slow life, and I feel I am getting closer to my core every year.
Having learned how to people-please and deny my own voice, I am now in the process of unlearning it. Shedding the layers that were never meant to be mine. Perfectionism doesn’t work well with a chronic illness, or probably for anybody. It is a process, but more and more I am embracing to take care of myself, to not rush as I will stumble after, but rather to pay attention to the little details, all the moments we might otherwise miss. The portals of wonder that have become so dear to me, glimmers on cloudy days. Beautiful communities like SoulCircle have supported me in embracing the creative, mindful life and realize the beauty of connected solitude. I have found like minded souls in all corners of the world.
I am still a nomad at heart. I might not have found my one place, nevertheless I keep finding belonging within me and the nature around me. Maybe it is not about arriving after all, but about the journey. To not miss so much in the chase of “more”. To trust that paths will unfold, as long as we keep following the things we love and that bring us joy. To navigate the waves of grief and allow space for being. For me, that means letting myself be guided by my inner wild. The calling that feels true and rich, even if it might be far away from the traditional route and conventional milestones. Here I am, 8 years later, far from polished, yet more myself than ever.
Thank you for the beautiful reflection, Beth!
Eight years, that feel likes a lifetime ago. I had recently returned to the UK from teaching English in Central Asia. I was trying to get a full-time job in academia on a contract that would last longer than 3 months, without much success. I was enjoying living in Scotland. However, I was reeling from a recent break-up. I was struggling to build a social network in a place where I knew nobody. I wasn't sure what the future held. That part hasn't changed :)
But in the 8 years since, I learnt much better how to navigate a hierarchical organisation that is goverened by many unwritten rules that no one tells you about. I have found my feet in my work, and am now helping others do the same through my coaching business. I now live on my own, and enjoy having that sanctuary.
Eight years from now I hope I will have more inner peace, and that I'll be aligned even closer to what I feel my life purpose is.
Thank you for asking the question, Beth. It helped me see the massive change that can happen within 8 years!
Eight years ago I was working up to 60 hours a week running my own freelance design business and working full-time for someone else. I did this for 4 years. I paid off all our debt so we could begin again. But I was empty. I was using all my creativity for other’s dreams. My book left in the dust along with my art supplies. Everyone else owned my time.
Three years ago I lost that job and began taking long walks and drawing nature. I’ve created a new career as an illustrator and artist. Trying to carve out more time to finish one of my book ideas too. I want to spend the rest of my life putting meaningful things into the world. ✨
They say “what a difference a year makes.” And if that’s the case, can you imagine what eight could do?
Eight years ago I still worked in a corporate organisation and was facing the fourth, of what would end up being five restructures in my time there, and yet another redundant role. But the fourth time was different. Very different to the unexpectedly, cruelly, ripped off plaster of security of the first time. By the fourth I was teetering on the edge of “is this now my time?.”
Surviving another painful, anxious, round of interviews and selection centres I secured a new role in yet another new structure. On paper my dream job, in reality the thing that finally woke me, shook me up. A year or so into that role I remember sitting on the steps of a tall London town house not far from the office, in tears, again, and a good friend saying “Gillian, you are more than this job.” It was the best thing anyone ever said to me.
I hadn’t realised it until now, but my life has been a delicious rollercoaster of life’s bittersweet ups and downs, twists and turns, since then… hop on in and join me for the ride…
By the time the next, fifth and final, restructure was about to tsunami over the horizon, at the craziest point, according to some, late into 2020 the year of the pandemic, I had already made my decision. I chose what would happen for me next, no-one else. The time came when “the risk it took to remain tight inside the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom” - Anais Nin. In 2021 I left the illusion of security of a corporate organisation after 26 years, and became (such an important delicious word, became…) the founder of the Stars Are Aligned Coaching. I have no idea where the courage came from. But I did it and I’m still doing it and so much more.
In 2022 I married my soulmate after 26 years together at that point. Later that year, peri-menopause gripped me and turned me upside down, inside out. In 2023 I turned 50, spent it in hospital with my dad, and less than a week later my heart splintered as he passed away with vascular dementia and becoming a carer for my mum began. Roles reversed. Reversed roles.
In 2024 I spent my 51st birthday supporting Louise, my wife, as we sat by her mum’s bedside, and had the privilege and peace of being with her as she passed just under a year since I’d sat in another room in another hospital in another lifetime with my dad. The month after I started River of Words which led to the writer I’d yet to meet stepping forward and raising her pen - I am a writer! And I set sail the sensitive coaches pHiloSoPhy here on Substack. Later that year I became a (pinch me!) published poet with four of my poems being printed in ‘Poetry for Coaching: Transformation Through Verse’. None of these things I'd imagined for myself.
And now we’re in 2025, The Stars Are Aligned Coaching celebrates its 4th birthday this month and hopefully my 52nd Birthday will have more of the joy than sorrow that life serves us up. At the moment that looks promising... Ink & Flame has sparked the vision of where I take the sensitive coaches pHiloSoPhy and The Stars Are Aligned Coaching next. I best buckle up for the ride!
So much Gillian. Wishing you a happy anniversary and birthday - may 52 be a doorway Xx
Thank you @Beth Kempton. When I read Kokoro I learnt I lost my dad and you your mum at the same time, the same month, my thoughts are with you too... And thank you for Kokoro and so much more, so much, you’ve brought me without realising it 🙏🏼 G:)x
This is lovely, thank you. Eight years ago I embarked on a professional adventure I always thought I wanted, only to realize it was a trap. And the subsequent escapes have held their own mini traps. I sit here today wondering how I can start over, how I can find my freedom.
Recognising the trap is half the battle ❤️ May you choose freedom with every decision✨
Congratulations Beth on your triple anniversary!
8 years ago - my initial reaction was nothing special, but when I thought harder I realised that it was the beginning of my 'neurodivergent' journey. My eldest had just been diagnosed as autistic and I had a new baby too - it felt like a very dark place as I did not understand autism and what that would mean for our family. Moving forward to today - I am now in place where I celebrate my neurodivergent family - my understanding and feeling have moved on so much and I am in a place of much more light and happiness. In 8 years time, I hope to be in a positive and happy place and see how much my neurodivergent family is thriving.
I can sense the light emerging here Katherine. May your next eight years bring all that you hope for✨
Thank you 🙏